Where in the world is Megan Humphreys?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

With 4 months under my belt...

The contents of this website are mine personally and do not reflect
any position of the U.S. government or Peace Corps.

I've now completed 4 months of service at site. I've heard people say that training is the hardest part, and that felt true during training. I've heard others say the first three months of service are the hardest, and that felt true during the first three months. Others have said that the first six months of service are the hardest, and that feels true now. The truth is, service is a continual process of highs and lows, the same as life I suppose.
Pre-service training is behind me, as is mid-service training (9 days of training after the first three months of service). Now comes the part where I actually need to start projects, provide results, and report successes.
I never realized how hard it is to work without an office, without a boss looking over your shoulder, without set deadlines and structures of what projects to do and when they need to be done by. To be sure, Peace Corps has reporting deadlines, projects that are strongly recommended, and monitoring processes in place; but day in and day out, you feel alone in your site, like what you accomplish today and tomorrow and the day after is entirely on your shoulders.
I thought I would find that sense of autonomy liberating. And I do. But I didn't expect that feeling of responsibility, that feeling of success or failure being entirely your triumph or your fault. I didn't realize how hard it would be some days to get things going, how hard it could be to motivate your community, and how some days you feel like you'll never accomplish anything.
I love my community, I love my project, and I love the ideas and opportunities that are available to me as a volunteer. But service is a lot more difficult than I gave it credit for. It's much more about incremental steps than big successes, which makes it hard to see what you are actually accomplishing.
This is the most challenging experience I've ever had. There are a lot of days when I feel like things are going so slowly, that I'll never see any results. But that only makes the small successes that much more valuable. Having a 4th grader telling me my English class is his favorite class, having my host mother ask me for advice on an idea or project she has, having the PTA committee listen to my ideas for the future with respect and attention. I'm not sure those things would mean as much to me in a faster-paced, performance-driven world.
I look forward to the future; to the next milestone in my service, to the end of service, to the time after-service (as I believe I will classify the rest of my life). But right now, no matter how frustratingly slow the process some days, I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

1 Comments:

  • At 1:50 PM, Blogger Doreen said…

    I have so thoroughly enjoyed your blog Megan. The spider and scorpion stories were "laugh out loud" however I am sure to have nightmares about spiders tonight. I am so proud of you and all that you are accomplishing. You are truly an amazing young woman. All is ok here at home...snow/ice last week. Daniel will deploy to Afghanistan in June/July. He is hoping to come home within the next month.
    I look forward to hearing from you again soon. My thoughts and prayers continue your way.
    Aunt Doreen

     

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